There are potentially more books on marriage than there are marriages today. Okay, that is a bit hyperbolic, but the point is that there is no shortage of books on marriage tell you what is wrong and how to fix yours. What thing in common with most of these books is that at the end of the book there isn’t a whole lot different. You might try a little tip here or a little tip there, but ultimately, your marriage is the exact same.
In my marriage, as in any marriage, you have times of conflict. In every time of conflict, I would always look at my wife and try to reassure her that I do love her. The problem? She didn’t feel loved. Well that’s a problem. What is a husband supposed to do when he loves his wife, but she doesn’t feel the love.
Enter Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage. A new book by Gary Thomas, that changes the way I approach my own marriage. The basic concept is that when we get married we agree to both Love and Cherish. The love is the commitment to never leave, it’s the will to stay through fights and to never give up. It’s not the romantic scenes you see in marriage and on it’s own, leaves a wife feeling unloved according to the desires inside her heart. But really, she is feeling uncherished and just doesn’t know how to explain it to you. At least, that’s what my wife was feeling.
After reading this book, I don’t fully know how to explain it but my mind has experienced a shift and I am consciously and unconsciously seeking to cherish Ashley anytime I can. To cherish is to put a high value in, by taking care of something. We cherish things like our cars, our electronics and expensive items like jewlery. A baseball player often times cherishes his equipment because he knows that it has helped him win games before and if properly taken care of it will help him win games in the future. It is through cherishing, putting a high value in our wife, and acting on that high value to take care of her that allows her to feel loved and cherished. If you want to read only one book on marriage, this is the book I would completely recommend. If you have time for a second book? I’d read Gary’s earlier book “Sacred Marriage” as well.